This little guy. He has been struggling lately.
With fear.
Something I am completely familiar with.
My Mom has told me many times how similar he is to me as a child.
Part of me loves that and part of me knows the aches and challenges he will go through in life being like...me.
This is a verse I've been reminding him of lately.
Every night for the past six nights he has been
getting out of bed scared.
He comes up to my room and just stands there at the edge of my bed.
I've never thought to ask him how long he stands there before I wake up, startled to see him in the dim light.
I assume it is pretty quick. My Mommy senses work pretty well.
He usually can't tell us what it is that scares him.
I always remind him to talk to Jesus.
Pray, I tell him. Always pray.
And I remind him of this verse.
What do I do?
This is not what I want for his life.
This pattern of fear.
I know too well how paralyzing fear can be.
It is not something I want to pass on to my children like I've passed on blond hair as a child,
or long toes, or a shy demeanor.
This is not charming or cute.
This is a curse.
My deepest wish is for my children to know how much their Jesus loves them.
That He has a purpose and a plan for their lives.
That they would know in their deepest parts that He is good and that He cares about them.
That they would go through life able to take risks and know the thrill of them.
That they would be able to live saying "let's do that...."
rather than "i can't do that...".
Knowing through it all they are held in their Creator's hands.
That even if they face calamity or heartache - and surely they will.
They will have peace and comfort through it.
I want my children to know life and not be afraid to live it.
That is a lesson I'm learning only in the middle of my life.
All the things I've missed because of fear.
That is not the legacy I want to leave for them.
********
Have you faced these nighttime fears with your children?
How do you handle them?
Any tried and true tricks to share?
2 comments:
This was so beautifully heartfelt. As a child who grew up with crippling fears and anxieties...I can imagine that I will have the same thoughts as a mother.
My parents did a lovely job raising me. They really did. But there are moments I wish they would have pushed me to do the things I feared. Stood next to me and told me it was going to be okay...but that I needed to face it. Things like, roller coasters. And water slides. And sleeping alone at night. I know they likely didn't do these things, because it was too difficult to see me frightened, and I love them for that.
But if I've learned anything in my journey of fear and anxiety, it's that sometimes you just need someone to stand next to you, hold your hand and say a prayer and face whatever you're fearing.
Now, as an adult, that 2 Timothy verse plays in my head whenever I'm struggling with a panic attack, or silly anxieties. I know where those fears come from...and they're certainly not from the Father who made me. He made me to delight in love, in life and in every experience that comes my way. He will never present me with something that is too much to handle. He simply won't!
Since I'm not a mother, I feel ill-equipped to offer advice on how to deal with fear + children...other than to say that you are a beautiful, loving mother who I am certain with prayer and eyes on God will be able to tackle anything that comes your way in the parenthood arena. :)
Much love and loads of prayers as you tackle this! :)
What a sweet post. My mom is a fearful person and has shared some of the struggles she has had trying to conquer her fear. Because of that, she was always so understanding when I was afraid as a child. Some things we do to help our children not be afraid at night is to play a CD of "Sleep Sound in Jesus" by Michael Card as they are going to sleep. This puts such a sweet spirit in the room, and the three have never expressed any fear at night. I think praying for him is a fantastic idea also.
My first thought is that if my son was coming to me in the night in fear, I would let him sleep in my bed with me for a few months until he got over the worst of the phase.
We also are careful to avoid scary TV, movies, and to talk through interactions with other children that might cause fear. I'm sure you do this also with your kids.
Another idea I've heard with younger, or very imaginative kids is "magic salt." This amazing substance, when sprinkled around on the pillows and sheets from the kitchen salt shaker magically keeps the "things" away because they don't like it. For a few kids, this magic salt is just the trick to bring a feeling of security at night. :)
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